My appeal to Janhavi Gadkar, an old classmate from St. Columba

Even though I am 35 years old, I don't feel it. Being in academic research and living in New York City has bestowed upon me this feeling of perennial youth. But sometimes meeting or hearing about someone from the past makes me realize how much time has passed. An old classmate from my school, St. Columba in South Bombay was arrested in India for driving drunk and killing two people after hitting their cab head on. Janhavi Gadkar was so drunk that she didn't realize she was driving in the opposite direction on the highway. Reports say she slept for 6 hours after the accident, waking up hung over. That's what alcohol does to one's senses. You don't even realize the impact of your actions after you have directly caused the death of two people---you can still doze off peacefully.

At 35, she is the VP of legal affairs at Reliance---no ordinary feat. If I remember correctly, she came from a pretty middle-class background like me---both parents worked to make a living and give her the best. And yet, with all her education and opportunities, she did not seem to know that merely waiting for two hours does not just wear alcohol off from one's blood stream. Or worse---she did not care. Do educated people really not know that alcohol does not just wear off within minutes? Today when I see headlines describing her as a "35 year old lawyer who killed two people", I realize how old I am and how far we have all come. I feel the weight of adulthood. Our decisions can change the course of our lives, the lives of others. Her terrible and reckless decision ended the lives of two people---both breadwinners of their respective families and moreover, it has ruined her life. Not everyone has the moral constitution of Salman Khan to live with the guilt of having killed fellow-humans. I wonder how many times she must go over that fateful night in her head, wishing she would've taken a cab instead. So please----do NOT under any circumstances drive under the influence. Just take a cab so you don't have to live with the terrible, all-consuming guilt of having done something you can never undo.

I saw her photo in the news reports and even though it has been years, I recognized her face. I remember her in ponytails and glasses. When we were guileless little 3rd graders in red and white uniforms, a random eye-exam drive in school revealed that she and I were among the few who needed glasses. I was excited and curious to wear this contraption on my face. But she cried. Later, we took an art class together. And these are my vague, foggy memories of her. And now her face is all over the internet. I see comment threads where her drinking was criticized---our Indian culture vultures are out there questioning her character, her divorced status, her being with men and drinking so late, even bringing up her upbringing because somehow at age 35 parents must still babysit us. A newspaper's headline, pointlessly claimed that colleagues said she was a "hardworking and good person". It is frustrating to me that we all need a character analysis for a person rather than just focus on the crime they committed. None of this matters. It is just noise. If she would've taken a cab home or spent the night at a friend's and not killed two people by driving head-on into their cab, none of this would've made it into the realm of public discourse. I am a divorced, career woman who celebrates career milestones with male colleagues and does occasionally enjoy a glass of wine. I would not drive while under the influence of alcohol or even if I felt I was so tired that I might fall asleep at the wheel. All one needs is a basic respect for human life and a fundamental understanding of how alcohol can cloud judgment, dull the senses and endanger the lives of others.

Janhavi's parents are probably trying very hard to get her the best legal representation right now. I don't blame them---they are parents. She too is likely doing everything right now to get out of this situation she has gotten herself into. But if by some fluke, she happens to chance upon my blog, I want her to step back and first and foremost, to herself, accept the enormity of what she has done. Two people are dead. No matter what she does or how the court treats this case, those two people will never come back. Children have lost their father, wives have lost their husbands. I want Janhavi to imagine her father or mother being crushed under the weight of metal because someone was too careless to value their lives. And then finally, I appeal to her sense as a human being to consider accepting guilt and punishment rather than fighting it and escaping like so many have done because our judiciary is overburdened and not as effective as it should be in punishing drunk drivers. If she serves out her sentence, helps the families of the deceased and then dedicates her life to spreading awareness about the impact of drunk driving, then there is some hope for redemption. But if like Salman Khan and so many others in our country guilty of this crime, she chooses to abuse our flawed system to her advantage, seeking loopholes to evade imprisonment, then she will most certainly lose our respect, the respect of the people in her past and her present---her peers. At 35, you achieved such accolades and an enviable position in your career, Janhavi. So do something that nobody else has done before in India. Accept guilt. Serve your term. Take this horrible experience, your acute and dire decision of one night and change it into a chapter of redemption, of sincere atonement. There is a lot you can and must do to help the families of the men who died. Most importantly, as an advocate, there is a lot you can still do to restore our faith in the legal system by accepting responsibility and raising awareness about drunk driving, maybe even fight for harsher sentences for drunk drivers after your incarceration. Is it idealistic and silly of me to expect that you will just admit guilt and go to prison for a good chunk of your life? Perhaps. But that is your only hope to keep your dignity intact after what you have done. You cannot bring back the people who died that night. However, you can help prevent future tragedies and you can change your role in this story from a heartless, reckless brat who killed two people to a human being who despite a devastating mistake and thorough lapse in judgement, still displayed some integrity and goodness of character.

India's sexual harassment, abuse and assault crisis

This terrible juxtaposition of rich vs poor, developed vs underdeveloped, educated vs uneducated in Indian cities has pitched strong, independent working women against chauvinistic, ignorant men who are threatened by such women. These women have financial independence and a higher status in society that these impoverished, uneducated men find emasculating. Now add to this the confused sexuality of our media forms---Bollywood item numbers where women are bosom heaving, pelvis gyrating sex bombs and then TV serials where women are saree clad saintly, obedient, domesticated house cats. This makes for a very dangerous socio-cultural setting with regards to sexuality. Bollywood immediately denies any responsibility for portraying women as sexual objects. They claim art and entertainment cannot be held responsible for propagating sexual stereotypes. Normally, I would agree with them and to a certain extent I do. But these guys are not defending sex scenes done in an aesthetic manner or nudity that was necessary within the storyline. No. They are defending 5 minute song and dance routines called "item numbers" in which the lyrics are debasing to women and the song has no purpose in the storyline except to attract lechers to the movie theater. Women Like Kareena Kapoor or Katrina Kaif who can afford their own security detail, make obscene movements with their body and gyrate and heave their bosom to lyrics that encourage men to not just leer but act on their sexual impulses ("aankhon se kyon sekhe, haathon se kar manmani; item banake rakhle" are examples of such titilating verses). For commercial gain, the largest movie industry in the world chooses to portray women over and over in a misogynistic light when they need to and as a whore when it serves their purpose. But none of this would lead to high rape stats without the corrupt law enforcement/ judicial system of ours or without police officers who very bluntly tell women to dress modestly if they don't want to be sexually harrased. What about the little girls in school uniforms who get molested on local trains and public transport and leered at, at an age when they don't even know what sexual attention is?

Also, this mentality that statutory rape is not that big a crime if the sex was consensual is a myth perpetrated by men who want to molest and have sex with young pubescent girls and justify their actions. It's the classic Lolita complex also known as Hebephilia. Here's what's worse: a lot of people, including women, buy into this myth of the teen temptress---even in seemingly progressive parts of the world and within the most educated of circles. I have experienced it as a 13-15 year old who was convinced that repeated molestation and sexual coercion by an adult male was actually a "romance". The only person I ever confessed to about the nature of the relationship and expressed my doubts to told me I deserved it because I was "throwing myself at the guy". To blame a child for an adult's lack of control, is possibly the worst thing you can ever do to that kid's psyche. In reality, all I was doing is being an affectionate, attention hungry child who thought this is what romantic love felt like. Now at the age of 33, I realize how common this is in India and how seldom people actually address or even talk about this serious problem that can alter a person's approach to romantic relationships and sexuality for the rest of their lives. Even mothers feel uncomfortable dealing with information that their child brings to them about such an encounter. I'm not sure what it is---shame at having failed to protect their kid or just shame associated with sexual acts in general---but mothers need to be empowered to deal with and confront anyone who compromises or violates their child's innocence and sexual health.

Protect your kids not just from the obvious demons, but from the friends in disguise. I always tell moms to be very wary of any man who befriends their kids or gives them any special attention. A majority of sexual abuse cases are perpetrated by family members, family friends or parents of the child's friend. Nobody is more important than your child's innocence and mental health. Watch out for symptoms like bed wetting, anxiety, loss of appetite or sleep, zoning out, secretive behavior, sudden appearance of habits like nail biting, hair pulling, lip biting, skin picking etc. Talk to your kids and make sure they feel comfortable talking to you about everything.

People ask me why rape cases have suddenly gone up in India and their naivety astonishes me. Rape cases have probably been more prevalent in the past. But it is only now that the victim feels strong enough to come forward and demand justice. And when I say that, I speak only of the modern, educated young women who were raped. The rape statistics in rural areas are probably much higher and worse but we just don't hear about those cases because the victims are silent and oppressed or the law enforcement in those areas blame the victim for the rape.

What we can do to change our society in the aftermath of the Delhi rape

I have done a lot of soul searching these past few days. As a non-resident Indian, I feel this certain sense of guilt that comes with not being able to do anything to improve things back home. The Delhi rape-victim was named Nirbhaya, Amanat and Damini by people whose long-borne frustrations finally found vent through this one heinous case. The nation has come together in demanding harsher punishment for the 6 rapists. But I take look at the rape statistics in India and it is clear that hanging, stoning or otherwise brutally punishing just these 6 men is not going to solve the bigger problem. One would think that a newer generation, social progress, increasing literacy rates would be associated with lower rates of gender related crimes. Not so in India. Rape statistics have gone up which means our economic or technological progress is not matched by progress in our mentalities and attitudes towards women. As with everything else, I like to come up with solutions that can be applied in the present---solutions that may not immediately reflect a change but can over time weed out deep-rooted and even subconscious biases that manifest into societal discord and crimes. Here are a few ideas I came up with that can be easily applied by us if we really want to change things that will prevent further such occurrences and bring about real change with this revolution.

Children spend a great deal of time in schools. Parents assume that their kids are learning everything they need to in schools. In India, most of us come out of school with strong fundamentals in arithmetic and science. But school does not teach us about how to deal with the world outside. Sex education is not enough because it teaches us the physiology and biology of our bodies but does not engage our mentalities or social attitudes. In the US, children are given assignments which force them to review historical events such as women's suffrage, human rights and the struggles of minorities. In India, history and other subjects do not place as much emphasis on community interactions or social dealings. While India's freedom struggle is highlighted, there is little to no information about the changing status of women in Indian society. Hence, I wonder if our schools can do more with regards to improving gender relations with awareness, counseling and discussions. Frequent sessions with parents and children about the importance gender equality in society might be beneficial. An educational program incorporated by all schools and designed by a team of child psychologists and social studies experts can prevent children from developing strong biases that are reinforced at home or within society. Most often, interaction and an open environment allows kids to express their questions and doubts regarding gender relations, sexuality and other such confounding subjects that are key towards building a sound mind and a healthy personality. These young minds are the future of our society.

Television is one of the most common and accessible forms of media in India and social awareness messages funded by the government that teach people about respecting women and questioning their patriarchal mindsets in the face of changing times could also be effective. When I was little, there was the one TV channel called Doordarshan which played social service messages that spread awareness about issues like literacy, religious harmony, vaccination, HIV and even gender equality. Now Indian television is dominated by exceedingly regressive television shows that demonstrate and even glorify the subjugation of women. Those social service messages are long gone and it seems that we need them the most now. Media reflects the outer fringe of the waves of social progress. Media is expression of society. And our media is dangerously lacking in dissipating modern and progressive ideas and values. Bring those social messages back on TV. Make them more effective, passionate and thought-provoking. We have a wealth of creative talent in our country that can come up with such social campaigns.

Now most important of all, the police force needs to be counseled in dealing with crimes of sexual nature. I watched in dismay spy videos of various high ranking police officials explaining with all conviction how rape is the victim's fault and how women are responsible for provoking such crime. Those few men can be fired or suspended or otherwise reprimanded but that will not change their mentalities. They need counseling---effective counseling that challenges their views logically, rationally and educates them not with facts but with means to deal with sexual crime and violence against women. In order to understand why the victim is not to blame in such cases the police need to be educated regarding the psychology of a rapist and the anatomy of rape. They need to understand that a rapist is not acting upon a sexual urge alone but attempting to enforce his dominance and superiority by subjugation of a woman that he sees as immoral, less than human or superior to him. In Afghanistan, women wearing hijabs and burkhas that cover them from head to toe, are victims of rape suggesting that provocative clothing or lifestyle are not to blame. I sincerely believe that such rigorous counseling and evaluation of our police force is the need of the moment.

Our society is in need of good role models---both male and female. Our Hindi films and television series disappoint me greatly in this respect. They do not offer our children and teens any good ideals to follow and some will argue that this is not their job. But frustratingly, they are willing to do do damage through "item" number dance moves and song lyrics that objectify women. We are severely lacking in the media presence of politically active, liberal men who tackle women's issues and speak out about difficult subjects unless something as heinous as the Delhi rape becomes news. In this current environment, there is a need for the media to highlight good role models for men and women to follow.

We cannot just wait for things to change someday---we need to make this change happen. If any of you have kids in school, talk to your school's principal about starting such an educational program. If you are reading this and happen to be in television or media, use your medium as a channel. Do not stay silent if you hear people blame the victim. Question their rationale. Argue with their stand logically. Take initiative, be proactive, channelize your frustrations and now that we have come together over this issue---never forget and don't stop fighting!

The death of the Delhi rape victim and gender roles in India

The Delhi rape victim is dead. A young 23-year old medical student after a long and painful battle is now gone because she boarded a bus late at night in a city which is our political capital and yet houses some of the the most regressive mentalities and attitudes towards women. Six men took turns gang raping her and then shoved an iron rod inside her destroying her internal organs. We cite examples of female Presidents and political leaders as if they are a true reflection of the status of women in our country. But we know they are not, don't we? A majority of women in cities and rural areas alike live through gender discrimination, abusive and oppressive marriages. They are burdened by expectations and stringent patriarchal social ideologies. Whether it is an uneducated, illiterate village woman or an independent, highly educated career woman, their struggles are astonishingly similar when it comes to gender roles in our Indian society. Yet another rape victim committed suicide after police neglected to look into her case and instead tried assassinating her character. People think that the laws need to be changed. But look at the mentalities of our men--not just law enforcers but the general public. Even some men who have educational credentials have terrible ideas about gender roles and how women should be treated. I was in India for 3 months last year and a majority of the men even in a city as progressive as Mumbai look at women like we were all doing something terribly sleazy. Being a woman is treated like some sort of an inherent inferiority. The police leer at you almost as much as the regular roadside brute. They make up excuses for heinous rapes. A shocking video revealed the attitudes of police towards rapes and sexual crimes against women. These men all blamed the women for either instigating the rape or not preventing it. The well-used "She was wearing a mini skirt...and hence the guy raped her" argument is shockingly prevalent. When women protest the treatment of their gender and obvious delinquency on part of law enforcers in dealing with these cases, they too are attacked---and not just with tear gas and water canons, but with harsh words as well. Here is a comment from Abhijit Mukherjee, the son of our nation's President: “These pretty women, dented and painted, who come for protests are not students. I have seen them speak on television, usually women of this age are not students”. He added that students, who go to discotheques, think it is a fashion statement to hold candles and protest. Does it matter Mr. Mukherjee that they be students? Rape is every woman's nightmare---whether she be a student returning home from a late night film or a working mother on a train. Lets forget about crime against women for a second and take a look at the mentalities within general society that may manifest into this sort of behavior. Rapes have been classified as anger rapes, power rapes, sadistic rapes and gang rapes. All of these have one thing in common--the desire for feeling superior through sexual domination and violence. The men likely viewed this woman as superior or immoral in some way and were out to teach her a "lesson", put her in her "place" which begs the question what precisely is the place of women in Indian society? The role of a woman from a character in a television series to any given household is defined by some archaic patriarchal dictum. Women who wear jeans and go to discotheques are somehow immoral and deserve the leering and molestation. Yet it is surprisingly OK for our kids and teens to see vulgar dance moves and hear obscene song lyrics in Hindi film "item" numbers. Our television series and the irony and hypocrisy of its content recently made it to an article in NY Times. Interestingly and ironically, the person behind these exceedingly regressive TV series is a single, independent woman---Ms. Ekta Kapoor. I don't blame her; she needs TV series that can sell. And these days, as more and more girls are educated and command respect in the work environment, apparently what sells on TV is the subjugation of women through a daily soap opera. A lot of Indian men today want a wife who works but they also want her to be a very effective "maid". The mother-in-law led an oppressed life when she was young and now she makes sure it is her daughter-in-law's turn. Even now people say things like "We allow our daughters-in-law to wear jeans and have a career". Allow? So you view the woman as your personal property? Men want women who can look and dress like Katrina Kaif but only when they want her to. At other times she should be the epitome of sacrifice and servitude. The whole thing is a confusing medley of hypocrisy, close-mindedness and sexual repression. You can change legislation and make stricter laws. But how does one change such deep-rooted mentalities? Our media, television, films don't help. We have changed so much about our exterior with glitzy malls and better highways. We are the tech capital of the world and our cities now resemble those in the Western world. The middle class has moved out of small tenements and made its way to posh flats in the suburbs. Our schools are more savvy and our children have access to the internet. But our core mentalities have not evolved at the same pace. The subjugation and oppression of women is viewed as some sort of a tradition. Social progress and the essence of democracy is defined by how a nation treats their women, children and minorities. And by those standards India's progress is embarrassingly challenged. I don't know if the answer lies with our young men or with law enforcement. But I do think that a revolution is needed to change the current scheme of things with respect to the treatment of women in India. I hope that the protestors in India do not stop and more importantly do not forget the Delhi victim. She has galvanized the fight against rape and injustice towards women in our society. This fight might have been started by that one incident but this fight is about more than just that one victim. It is about the millions of women in India who have stayed stoic and strong in the face of abuse for way too long now.

Guzaarish.....and why I did not like it

When Bollywood filmmakers attempt to make a film on a serious subject with a commercial packaging, they end up producing what seems like a long drawn farce with a thorough lack of verisimilitude. Sanjay Leela Bhansali attempts to manufacture poetic sagas that will pull at your heart strings. He is an emotional director with no investment in the realism of the film, no matter how serious and deep the subject. Here the protagonist played by Hrithik Roshan is a paraplegic who has a seemingly full life but has never ventured out of his home. When he finally does go out, it is to the Indian court with an appeal for euthanasia. He used to be a magician and now feels suffocated because of his paralysis and he tries proving this point to the court by locking the opposing counsel in a small box. He has lived like this for 12 years, written an inspiring book and delivered motivational speeches to other quadriplegics and yet now he suddenly wants to die. One cannot not empathize with the protagonist simply because his death wish seems unjustified. The subject of euthanasia is such a debated one--but the director treats the theme with the self-indulgent neglect of a drunk poet wallowing in depression. I do not understand why the man insists on taking such weighty subjects which deserve more research and reduces them to superficial melodramatic musicals.


Hrithik Roshan, bless him, portrays the body language and posture expected of a paraplegic & does his best to bring credibility to a poorly developed character. Aishwarya Rai on the other hand is a superlatively poor choice for playing the role of a temperamental, pouty nurse. Her character seems self-absorbed, eccentric and very testy for a nurse who you expect to be an epitome of compassion especially for a paraplegic. The scene where she forcibly injects the patient with sedative when he insists on being allowed to think makes one wonder if this nurse trained with Dr.Kevorkian. Neither the court, nor the doctors request a psych-consultation which would be absolutely necessary for a patient requesting euthanasia.

But what confused me most is the detail of each scene...none of it was believable. The magic did not evoke awe and the supposed tragedy did not evoke grief. Secondly, where are these people living---in Bhansali's imaginary city which has palatial museum-like homes with leaky roofs and cities with retro-night clubs and flamenco dancers? Why is Aishwarya Rai, the nurse, wearing a flamenco dancer's costume throughout the film? I commend and pity that poor cinematographer who had to fit scenic Goa and an imaginary fantasy home into one film. Alas, his picturesque and poetic attempt still could not hold this film together. As an audience it is very hard to connect with a story and feel for the characters without the necessary depth or realism that such a sad story deserves. The film sits between a fantasy tale and a Bollywood saga infused with Ms.Rai's histrionics and a Broadway musical-like ambiance. It is like a really bad play that might have been better if Bhansali had taken his anti-depressants.

Here is what bugs me most: The Indian film industry---which is basically now a family business---that Karan Johar keeps referring to as a "fraternity" is all praise for this film. The film has now received the Presidential Guild Apsara Award. I am just appalled. This year there were some glorious films that came out unexpectedly from this industry: Udaan, Peepli Live, Well Done Abba, Ishqiya, to name a few. Even Dabangg was a well-done parody, a quirky Bihari western that finally showcased Salman Khan's comic timing without making him seem like a mentally unstable person. The two award shows that I watched did give these films some recognition but also made sure that the Khans and Queen Rai were also awarded. If everyone is going to receive a medal why have a race...just give them out. Or even better: send the trophies to Yash Chopra and he will distribute them to his favorite "puttars" and "putris".

Kyunki Saans Bhi Kabhi Ghar Ghar Kheli

Recently, I got some Indian channels hoping they'd make me feel like I was in India while I hibernate in front of the TV in an evil Minnesotan winter. The mid-western cable guy who showed up in his overalls, sat and watched for a few minutes, wide-eyed at how colorfully dressed everyone seemed. "They cry quite a lot, don't they" he exclaimed innocently. It's been about two weeks and I have been watching, out of plain curiosity, these Hindi TV serials where the primary villain is this wicked daughter-in-law who insists on wearing jeans, does not want to cook, eats meat and wants a nuclear family rather than the drama-rich joint family that has kept this TV series going. So now I feel like I am in India...but in a rich Gujarati family of the 60s.

India has moved into the 21st century (I think) and so has our use of technology and standards of living. Mumbai (Bombay) is a jungle of high rise apartments and rickety shanties which all have in common the mighty television. Working women, girls in mini-skirts and denim capris are a common sight. Yet the television series for some reason insist on showcasing family dramas that seem to belong to the 1970s or perhaps even earlier. One might argue that this scene still plays out in some parts of India. But quite honestly, I have known people from all parts of India from Lucknow to Rajasthan and have yet to meet a single person who can relate to these serials. Yet, the producers claim that these series are commercially successful. I guess when one has nothing to watch on TV except for these similar family-drama type series on all channels then what else can one do.

Interestingly, this trend was started by Ekta Kapoor of Balaji Telefilms, who is a successful Indian TV creator and quite an enterprising woman who has made a mark in television production. Her persona is far from the saree clad bahus of the series she has spawned. With the arrival of the saans-bahu circus, gone are the glorious years of television when series like Udaan, Nukkad, Fauji, Tenali Ram and Karamchand where the story was new and refreshing with every episode.

Tingya...a film about a boy and his pet

Cold Minnesota weekends have led me into the arms of Netflix. Here I can order films from all over the world and watch stories with universal appeal. Over time, having seen cinema from Israel, France, China and even Iraq I have begun to appreciate a world outside of Bollywood escapism. This weekend I watched Tingya, a small budget Marathi film, director Mangesh Hadavale's debutant effort. It is a Marathi film and I could not get subtitles to come on. I watched it with an American friend who does not really understand Marathi and yet she was able to empathize with and appreciate every aspect of this remarkable story.

The story is of a little boy, Tingya, who loves his bullock. This bullock, for the rest of the family is a means of survival; for them he is livestock, he ploughs their fields and the little money that they earn from the yearly crop keeps them going. They live a humble, hand-to-mouth existence in rural Maharashtra where farmers are known to commit suicide when the rains refuse to grace them one fateful year. When the bull falls into a leopard trap and breaks his leg, overnight, he becomes useless to the family of poor farmers. But not to Tingya. To Tingya the bull is a beloved pet. When his parents contemplate selling the injured bull to the butcher, the little boy begins a battle to save his pet's life. In this endeavor he has the sole support of his little friend Rashida. When the film was over, we still had in the room, those characters living with us, their smiles and their tears and their struggles hanging heavy over our shoulders. I have been starved of Indian films that make me feel this way.

Currently, a look at the big releases reveals that most commercial Hindi films are made by rich film families, the big banners, as they are popularly referred to. Every second commercially viable blockbuster has a Kapoor or a Bachhan associated with it. Our Indian populace, so used to deity worship, promotes films like these and in their zeal to uphold their existing heroes ignores new talent that does not have the money to market their creativity. In the current scheme of things, films made by a small-time, struggling director get shoved into a corner, neglected because our masses are so taken with the idea of escapism that they do not want to see the depth and meaning in the stories of our reality.

I tried looking up Tingya online and could not find any major articles about this film in any Indian news dailies. Only bloggers seemed to have covered this film extensively in 2007 when it was released. While the film has a short Wikipedia page, it does not have a website, using instead a blog to promote themselves. The film has received only local film festival awards and I doubt they were taken to bigger festivals for sheer lack of funds. And yet big budget films like Devdas and Jodha Akbar receive unwarranted attention at international festivals because they have money and big names driving their efforts. This movie lost out to Taare Zameen Par for an Oscar submission. I am certain that if it were chosen it would have definitely been nominated. The western world may have seen a child's struggle with dyslexia but I can guarantee you the story of Tingya would have struck them as unique. But Tingya didn't stand a chance against Aamir Khan's directorial debut. I can only wish that I could have conveyed my appreciation to Mr.Hadavale personally.

I want my friends and readers to watch this film and talk about it. I know some of you may not be Marathi speaking but this film and its story is driven by scenes and not dialog. Some of you are animal lovers and I can tell you that this story will move you to the core. Help this little piece of genius along and in some little way encourage such talent instead of just going along with the blatant nepotism and cronyism that is plaguing our film industry back home. Mind you I do not mean to put down our commercial film industry. They have earned a place in people's psyche. But there is more to India than the glossy, commercially viable, rich lives portrayed by the Johar, Chopra factories. In a world plagued by superfluous, fleeting and material content, there are stories that have the power to move us and see the joys that lie beyond what's on the surface. These stories might not highlight our affluence but they tell people of how much happiness there can be without it.

My City Burning: Scaling the aftermath of the Mumbai attacks

I grew up watching with envy the gleaming cars that lined up outside the Taj Mahal Hotel. As a child, I was dwarfed by the Victorian ceilings of the majestic VT station. The Oberoi Hotel stood at the other end of Queen's necklace which fringed the ocean like a string of lofty dreams, cast over the horizon, tempting Mumbai's middle class. The city that has, year after year, risen up the day after every terrorist attack was too weary to do so today after watching the imposing Taj burn for hours, the smoke emerging from its dome stinging the pride of every citizen, the ashes bearing down heavy on people's already burdened psyches.



All is real and painful about every terrorist attack and yet Wednesday night's incursion was like none other before. The gunmen seemed young and brazen, inspiring an odd gamut of emotions. I felt shock at their callousness, rage at their stupidity and grief at their young lives wasted, misled. The innocent civilians killed by the indiscriminate shooting reminded me of my own helplessness; it is not every day that we ponder about what might happen if someone decided to rain bullets when we go about our lives, shopping, dining out, sightseeing or sleeping. Snapshots of bloodied bodies strewn across VT station brought home the fragility of life and the abrupt finality of death. The pictures I saw, left a rigid lump in my throat. A child was being offered a drink of water by a policeman and I worried like a crazed woman about where her parents might be and if they were still alive. The police officers in their tragic death makes us Indians want to trust law enforcement again, acknowledge their unimaginable sacrifices, grieve with their families, respect them in death like we never could if we had ever seen them before somewhere in the city in their uniforms. The inconsolable mother, the orphaned son, the shock frozen in the blood-shot eyes of a widowed wife will haunt me for days to come.



The international media may be just noise we want to fill ourselves up with, I think, to hold at bay the real questions about how safe we are, wherever we are. Reporters look to every political analyst they can lay their hands on and even questioned Deepak Chopra and Vijay Mallaya, of all people, to find out more about what organization may have done this. Maybe in our desperate need for simple issues with quick solutions, we all recognize but will not acknowledge the faceless arms of ignorance, poverty and frustration that drive people into religious extremism and cultivate terrorism. We don't want to hear this answer because that would mean we can no longer solve the issue, not as easily as we had hoped at least. Nations have formidable armies and technologically savvy intelligence. But with these in hand, nations cannot lift people out of their dismal, hopeless, alienated lives before they are recruited by extremists looking for easy candidates to execute their own agendas. Nations cannot get to people in time before someone else comes along, hands a frustrated teen a loaded gun and points to the opulent dome of the Taj Hotel that seems to him, in its plentiful glory, mocks his misfortune.

India was not in the global news for more than a day when our flag recently found its place on the moon. India was not mentioned more than twice in international media when we won our first Olympic Gold earlier this year. Even the nuclear treaty with the U.S did not bring for India a noteworthy mention in the mainstream media. Today, I heard the words "sophisticated, calculated, organized and carefully planned" used in describing none of our triumphs but the attackers who held Mumbai hostage. I watched the name of the beloved city I grew up in, flash repeatedly across television screens. I saw the tragedy of my city ignored, kicked into a corner as news reporters crowded all discussion with repeated mentions of American and British hostages. I watched from miles away, the ghost of my city, its voices snuffed out by a curfew and I could not tell if the silence was that before or after a storm.