Monday, November 19, 2007

22 Things A Guy Wants To Know About Women (when he's not so absorbed with himself)

People,

I know I haven't been treating my blog right for a while now. Hopefully this post will help kick start things. I was tagged recently by fellow-editors Sujatha and Deepti Lamba with this very interesting set of questions titled "22 Things That A Man Wants To Know About Women"(The "when he is not so absorbed with himself" quip was my own addition).

Since I was tagged by the two ladies I wondered if maybe I get to put up 44 answers, but then decided that since men were confused as it is when it comes to this subject it would be a great disservice to the tag if I were to mislead these confounded beings even more with my heartless ambiguity.

So here are my answers:

1.How do you feel after a one night stand?
If you are a desi dude, I am a coy, squirming virgin.

2.Do you ever get used to wearing a thong?
I don't floss my teeth, so flossing my ass is out of question.

3.Does it hurt?
Do you want it to? (insert wicked giggle and BDSM style whip)

4.Do you know when you are acting crazy?
Nah, its never me. Its always the other person.

5.Does size really matter?
If you are small then it does...but if you are big then its the technique ;)

6.When the bill comes are you still a feminist?
I dunno, kinda depends on how Bill looks

7.Why do you take so long to get ready?
Takes a while to create a look that will hopefully take attention from your sloppy dressing sense and the mustard stain on your tie.

8.Do you watch Porn?
More into erotic stories really. Besides it is painful to find out that there are men out there with dongs bigger than yours.

9.Will something from Tiffany solve everything?
On the contrary, it won't solve anything at all.

10.Are you guys as big a mystery to yourself as you are to us
No, we've gotten ourselves all figured out. You are slower and therefore stumped.

11.Why do you sometimes think you are fat?
I also sometimes think you are stupid.

12.Why are you always late?
Cause you make me "come" late. (if you get the drift) ;)

13.Does it bother you when we scratch?
Depends on where the itch is.

14.Do you wish you could pee standing?
Nope...if a genie appears in front of me I cannot see myself going "I wish I could pee standing up"

15.Why do so many women cut their hair as soon as they get married?
I had no idea they did.

16.How often do you think about sex?
More than you think.

17.What do you think about women who sleep with men on their first date?
I try not to think about them

18.Would you?
Nah, there's a lot going on on a first date.

19.Do you realize every guy wants a girl like his mom
Do you realize every girl wants a guy like her dad?

20.Why does every woman think she can change her man?
I don't...so there goes the "every woman" theory

21.Does it matter the kind of car I drive?
If everything else about you is questionable then yes it does.

22. Do you ever fart?
I'll just let you be surprised...why kill the suspense?

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

Thanks for doing it Aditi, I loved the tongue in cheek humor;)

Amey said...

Thanks for not confounding us poor men :D

Incidentally, answer to Q.11... "sometimes" is a good news.

Answer to Q.16... better news.

But #22, that would be a bad surprise.

In the end, remember that exception proves the rule :D

Kartikeya Date said...

are you then suggesting that women are self-absorbed enough to answer 22 questions about themselves at one go?

:) :)

(tongue firmly in cheek)

Unknown said...

hahahahaha.... lmao!!!! ;-)

Sujatha Bagal said...

Fun, fun, fun! Thanks for doing the tag, Aditi.

Rays Of Sun said...

Lolz, lot of fun reading it...
This one takes the cake:P
//Do you know when you are acting crazy?
Nah, its never me. Its always the other person//

Anonymous said...

This is so brilliant, I think I am going to circulate it at the next Blog Meet. :-)

How you been, otherwise?

Love,
Saks

Anonymous said...

This is the first time I am reading your blog, and I have to say that I like it a lot. You write very well, and the words that you choose convey what I presume you meant them to convey, very well (more than what can be said about me:)
Keep up the good work.
The Freakshow

S Kris said...

Hi Aditi ... I found this article of yours on India Abroad - "All they say is Mahi Ve". I just had to find a way to communicate with you and and lend a loud sympathetic voice to your cause. Forever, now, I have been annoyed no end at this indian = punjabi equation that bollywood has very effectively presented to a) the Bulk of india b) the rest of the world. What used to be "lagtha" has become "lagdha". Farida jalaal's excessively cloying, rotund face has been smiling indulgently at too many "kudis" and "mundas". The non-punjabis like me can only fret and fume in response. I had a punjabi friend who retardedly went "movies bhi apni, music bhi apni, khaana bhi apni, mauj masti bhi apni!!"

and whatever I had to offer in response seemed lame - "no way, man, Rasam is Mine!!!"

or "try understanding tagore"

its clear that pop-culture has become pappaji-culture.
In any case, a big shout-out to you for writing that article.

Anonymous said...

same like the other guy,i came to ur blog thr ur article in rediff,though i am punjabi i agree with u said,it mainly happened becasue after partition lots of punjabi including br chopra,yash chopra kapoors migrated from punjab on the other side to bombay on this side and there has been "punjabi culture" since then,but anwyays it was fun reading it

Anonymous said...

very interesting. very!

Anonymous said...

Aditi:

Great answers and nice blog..

cheers,
-d.

Aditi said...

Thanks to all of you for your wonderful and encouraging comments. If some of you are wondering why its taken me so long to respond, I'm sorry. It was ill-mannered of me. I will provide no lame excuses. I just ignored my blog undeservedly.

I'm just so surprised that this article got so much attention and response. I would like to thank sujatha and dee for the tag, sakshi for the prospective mention at Blog Meet, my parents, my sister, the family dog....and of course the Academy, wait I think I might've gotten carried away.

:D

Minal said...

Aditi,
Awesome stuff and you should send your articles to Mrs. Lobo..maybe she'll know what she missed out on;-)

I wish I coul blog or atleast tune into my blog list...I simply don't find the time to do it:-)

claytonia vices said...

:)

pagpri said...

Loved it Aditi... my fiance and me couldnt stop laffing reading it.... u r a complete winner !

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