I have done a lot of soul searching these past few days. As a non-resident Indian, I feel this certain sense of guilt that comes with not being able to do anything to improve things back home. The Delhi rape-victim was named Nirbhaya, Amanat and Damini by people whose long-borne frustrations finally found vent through this one heinous case. The nation has come together in demanding harsher punishment for the 6 rapists. But I take look at the rape statistics in India and it is clear that hanging, stoning or otherwise brutally punishing just these 6 men is not going to solve the bigger problem. One would think that a newer generation, social progress, increasing literacy rates would be associated with lower rates of gender related crimes. Not so in India. Rape statistics have gone up which means our economic or technological progress is not matched by progress in our mentalities and attitudes towards women. As with everything else, I like to come up with solutions that can be applied in the present---solutions that may not immediately reflect a change but can over time weed out deep-rooted and even subconscious biases that manifest into societal discord and crimes. Here are a few ideas I came up with that can be easily applied by us if we really want to change things that will prevent further such occurrences and bring about real change with this revolution.
Children spend a great deal of time in schools. Parents assume that their kids are learning everything they need to in schools. In India, most of us come out of school with strong fundamentals in arithmetic and science. But school does not teach us about how to deal with the world outside. Sex education is not enough because it teaches us the physiology and biology of our bodies but does not engage our mentalities or social attitudes. In the US, children are given assignments which force them to review historical events such as women's suffrage, human rights and the struggles of minorities. In India, history and other subjects do not place as much emphasis on community interactions or social dealings. While India's freedom struggle is highlighted, there is little to no information about the changing status of women in Indian society. Hence, I wonder if our schools can do more with regards to improving gender relations with awareness, counseling and discussions. Frequent sessions with parents and children about the importance gender equality in society might be beneficial. An educational program incorporated by all schools and designed by a team of child psychologists and social studies experts can prevent children from developing strong biases that are reinforced at home or within society. Most often, interaction and an open environment allows kids to express their questions and doubts regarding gender relations, sexuality and other such confounding subjects that are key towards building a sound mind and a healthy personality. These young minds are the future of our society.
Television is one of the most common and accessible forms of media in India and social awareness messages funded by the government that teach people about respecting women and questioning their patriarchal mindsets in the face of changing times could also be effective. When I was little, there was the one TV channel called Doordarshan which played social service messages that spread awareness about issues like literacy, religious harmony, vaccination, HIV and even gender equality. Now Indian television is dominated by exceedingly regressive television shows that demonstrate and even glorify the subjugation of women. Those social service messages are long gone and it seems that we need them the most now. Media reflects the outer fringe of the waves of social progress. Media is expression of society. And our media is dangerously lacking in dissipating modern and progressive ideas and values. Bring those social messages back on TV. Make them more effective, passionate and thought-provoking. We have a wealth of creative talent in our country that can come up with such social campaigns.
Now most important of all, the police force needs to be counseled in dealing with crimes of sexual nature. I watched in dismay spy videos of various high ranking police officials explaining with all conviction how rape is the victim's fault and how women are responsible for provoking such crime. Those few men can be fired or suspended or otherwise reprimanded but that will not change their mentalities. They need counseling---effective counseling that challenges their views logically, rationally and educates them not with facts but with means to deal with sexual crime and violence against women. In order to understand why the victim is not to blame in such cases the police need to be educated regarding the psychology of a rapist and the anatomy of rape. They need to understand that a rapist is not acting upon a sexual urge alone but attempting to enforce his dominance and superiority by subjugation of a woman that he sees as immoral, less than human or superior to him. In Afghanistan, women wearing hijabs and burkhas that cover them from head to toe, are victims of rape suggesting that provocative clothing or lifestyle are not to blame. I sincerely believe that such rigorous counseling and evaluation of our police force is the need of the moment.
Our society is in need of good role models---both male and female. Our Hindi films and television series disappoint me greatly in this respect. They do not offer our children and teens any good ideals to follow and some will argue that this is not their job. But frustratingly, they are willing to do do damage through "item" number dance moves and song lyrics that objectify women. We are severely lacking in the media presence of politically active, liberal men who tackle women's issues and speak out about difficult subjects unless something as heinous as the Delhi rape becomes news. In this current environment, there is a need for the media to highlight good role models for men and women to follow.
We cannot just wait for things to change someday---we need to make this change happen. If any of you have kids in school, talk to your school's principal about starting such an educational program. If you are reading this and happen to be in television or media, use your medium as a channel. Do not stay silent if you hear people blame the victim. Question their rationale. Argue with their stand logically. Take initiative, be proactive, channelize your frustrations and now that we have come together over this issue---never forget and don't stop fighting!
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