My appeal to Janhavi Gadkar, an old classmate from St. Columba

Even though I am 35 years old, I don't feel it. Being in academic research and living in New York City has bestowed upon me this feeling of perennial youth. But sometimes meeting or hearing about someone from the past makes me realize how much time has passed. An old classmate from my school, St. Columba in South Bombay was arrested in India for driving drunk and killing two people after hitting their cab head on. Janhavi Gadkar was so drunk that she didn't realize she was driving in the opposite direction on the highway. Reports say she slept for 6 hours after the accident, waking up hung over. That's what alcohol does to one's senses. You don't even realize the impact of your actions after you have directly caused the death of two people---you can still doze off peacefully.

At 35, she is the VP of legal affairs at Reliance---no ordinary feat. If I remember correctly, she came from a pretty middle-class background like me---both parents worked to make a living and give her the best. And yet, with all her education and opportunities, she did not seem to know that merely waiting for two hours does not just wear alcohol off from one's blood stream. Or worse---she did not care. Do educated people really not know that alcohol does not just wear off within minutes? Today when I see headlines describing her as a "35 year old lawyer who killed two people", I realize how old I am and how far we have all come. I feel the weight of adulthood. Our decisions can change the course of our lives, the lives of others. Her terrible and reckless decision ended the lives of two people---both breadwinners of their respective families and moreover, it has ruined her life. Not everyone has the moral constitution of Salman Khan to live with the guilt of having killed fellow-humans. I wonder how many times she must go over that fateful night in her head, wishing she would've taken a cab instead. So please----do NOT under any circumstances drive under the influence. Just take a cab so you don't have to live with the terrible, all-consuming guilt of having done something you can never undo.

I saw her photo in the news reports and even though it has been years, I recognized her face. I remember her in ponytails and glasses. When we were guileless little 3rd graders in red and white uniforms, a random eye-exam drive in school revealed that she and I were among the few who needed glasses. I was excited and curious to wear this contraption on my face. But she cried. Later, we took an art class together. And these are my vague, foggy memories of her. And now her face is all over the internet. I see comment threads where her drinking was criticized---our Indian culture vultures are out there questioning her character, her divorced status, her being with men and drinking so late, even bringing up her upbringing because somehow at age 35 parents must still babysit us. A newspaper's headline, pointlessly claimed that colleagues said she was a "hardworking and good person". It is frustrating to me that we all need a character analysis for a person rather than just focus on the crime they committed. None of this matters. It is just noise. If she would've taken a cab home or spent the night at a friend's and not killed two people by driving head-on into their cab, none of this would've made it into the realm of public discourse. I am a divorced, career woman who celebrates career milestones with male colleagues and does occasionally enjoy a glass of wine. I would not drive while under the influence of alcohol or even if I felt I was so tired that I might fall asleep at the wheel. All one needs is a basic respect for human life and a fundamental understanding of how alcohol can cloud judgment, dull the senses and endanger the lives of others.

Janhavi's parents are probably trying very hard to get her the best legal representation right now. I don't blame them---they are parents. She too is likely doing everything right now to get out of this situation she has gotten herself into. But if by some fluke, she happens to chance upon my blog, I want her to step back and first and foremost, to herself, accept the enormity of what she has done. Two people are dead. No matter what she does or how the court treats this case, those two people will never come back. Children have lost their father, wives have lost their husbands. I want Janhavi to imagine her father or mother being crushed under the weight of metal because someone was too careless to value their lives. And then finally, I appeal to her sense as a human being to consider accepting guilt and punishment rather than fighting it and escaping like so many have done because our judiciary is overburdened and not as effective as it should be in punishing drunk drivers. If she serves out her sentence, helps the families of the deceased and then dedicates her life to spreading awareness about the impact of drunk driving, then there is some hope for redemption. But if like Salman Khan and so many others in our country guilty of this crime, she chooses to abuse our flawed system to her advantage, seeking loopholes to evade imprisonment, then she will most certainly lose our respect, the respect of the people in her past and her present---her peers. At 35, you achieved such accolades and an enviable position in your career, Janhavi. So do something that nobody else has done before in India. Accept guilt. Serve your term. Take this horrible experience, your acute and dire decision of one night and change it into a chapter of redemption, of sincere atonement. There is a lot you can and must do to help the families of the men who died. Most importantly, as an advocate, there is a lot you can still do to restore our faith in the legal system by accepting responsibility and raising awareness about drunk driving, maybe even fight for harsher sentences for drunk drivers after your incarceration. Is it idealistic and silly of me to expect that you will just admit guilt and go to prison for a good chunk of your life? Perhaps. But that is your only hope to keep your dignity intact after what you have done. You cannot bring back the people who died that night. However, you can help prevent future tragedies and you can change your role in this story from a heartless, reckless brat who killed two people to a human being who despite a devastating mistake and thorough lapse in judgement, still displayed some integrity and goodness of character.